“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord, looking diligently, lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness, springing up, trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (RE Hebrews 1:54, KJV Hebrews 12:15)
One of the requirements of living the doctrine of Christ is enduring all things that the Lord sees fit to inflict upon us. This can mean facing our fears. It can mean experiencing things we would not want to live through. When challenges arise, how do we know what to do? What does “success” look like?
In many of our classroom studies, there are questions asked that we receive a grade for the answers we give. This leads to a mindset that when we are faced with a question, there is a range of responses that might be given but what we want is the “best” answer! In life, this kind of thinking, that only the best will do, can lead to a lot of frustration and distress at not being able to actually live out the “best” answer. In many cases, you probably have no idea what the “best” answer for your situation really is.
The classroom of life might not be graded the same way our homework or tests in school were graded. Unlike many of those exams, in life, it is possible that there are many good answers to dilemmas we face. There may also be many bad answers as well. Instead of thinking the multiple choices we have only has one single “right” answer, consider that in many cases, there are multiple responses that can be good.
When I look at the challenges faced by some friends and family, I can be like, “I’m glad I’m not going through that!”. When I look at the challenges they face, I can truly have compassion for the very difficult things they are going through. As I look at it from the outside, I don’t really care about many of the details of how they cope with their challenges. All I really care about is wanting them to somehow navigate through their challenges and not end up being resentful, angry or bitter. If they can manage their way through their difficulties and find a way not to end up being a bitter, angry person, I can genuinely appreciate that they have endured well what they have been afflicted with.
I admit that sometimes I’m not so generous with myself. I hold myself to a higher standard and expect more of myself. I think that I need to respond optimally or whatever I do instead just won’t be right. That really isn’t true though. The same generosity that I can give to the serious challenges that others face, can also apply to me.
Sometimes it can be a challenge to love my neighbor as I love myself. Other times it can be a challenge to love myself as much as I love my neighbor. Or at least be more compassionate for myself, as I can be compassionate for my neighbor.
There is a verse about how adversity can affect people that I reflect on. It is about how a long and horrible war affected people. It says:
”But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.” (LDS Alma 62:41)
There are a lot of details that are not included in that simple verse. Sometimes the details don’t really matter. In this case, we don’t really know the specifics of how those who coped with the war and became soft went about accomplishing that. Nor do we know exactly what people were doing that caused them to become hardened. There are probably lots of ways to end up on either side, becoming either soft or hard. The exact path of how you get there, doesn’t really matter much. There can be multiple good answers. There can also be multiple bad responses.
How you endure the challenges you face really is your choice. When it comes to many of the details, I don’t really care how you get through your challenges. What I do care about is that I hope it makes you a better person. Becoming more soft, compassionate and understanding. I hope it does not leave you bitter, angry or hard.
May you face whatever challenges God sees fit to inflict upon you and endure them well, however you choose to do it.